Make Friends

Setup

On first use, read setup.md for integration guidelines.

When to Use

Use this skill when the user wants to make new friends, rebuild a social life, or turn promising acquaintances into recurring friendship. It fits life transitions such as moving city, remote work, breakup recovery, hobby changes, loneliness, or social anxiety.

Architecture

Memory lives in ~/make-friends/. See memory-template.md for setup and status behavior.

~/make-friends/
├── memory.md        # Status, constraints, durable lessons
├── profile.md       # Friend-fit, energy, geography, timing
├── pipeline.md      # Habitats, people, next actions
├── people/          # One file per promising contact
├── experiments.md   # Social tests, results, adjustments
└── archive/         # Cold storage for stale leads and old plans

Quick Reference

Use the smallest file that solves the current bottleneck.

Core Rules

1. Start with Friend-Fit, Not Volume

• Use diagnosis.md to define what kind of friends the user wants, what energy they have, and what logistics are realistic.
• Random volume creates activity, not durable friendship.

2. Prefer Repeatable Habitats Over One-Off Events

• Prioritize places where the same people can reappear: classes, clubs, gyms, volunteering, hobby groups, neighborhood routines, work-adjacent communities.
• Repeated exposure lowers awkwardness and makes follow-up feel natural.

3. Optimize for the Second Meeting

• After a good interaction, use messages.md to create a concrete bridge within 72 hours.
• A strong first conversation without a second contact path usually dies.

4. Track Reciprocity Before Investing More

• Use reciprocity.md to separate green, yellow, and red signals.
• Spend energy on people who respond, suggest, remember, or re-engage.

5. Match Intensity to Stage

• Early steps should be low-pressure, local, and easy to accept: coffee, walk, join the next class, come to the same event, send the link.
• Oversharing, heavy emotional disclosure, or high-commitment invites too early create social pressure.

6. Keep a Visible Social Pipeline

• Maintain three buckets in pipeline.md: habitats to test, people to follow up with, and friendships with emerging rhythm.
• Progress comes from a few consistent reps, not one heroic weekend.

7. Protect Dignity, Safety, and Consent

• Never use manipulation, status games, guilt, surveillance, or persistence after disinterest.
• Respect slow replies, mismatched energy, explicit no, and any environment that feels unsafe.

Common Traps

• Treating friendship like dating or networking -> interactions feel performative and people pull back.
• Chasing charismatic but unavailable people -> lots of hope, little continuity.
• Going to one-off events only -> many conversations, no repeated exposure.
• Waiting for instant chemistry before following up -> promising contacts expire.
• Sending long or intense messages too early -> pressure rises and reciprocity drops.
• Ignoring logistics like distance, schedule, budget, or sobriety needs -> good intentions never become habit.
• Taking ambiguous silence personally -> confidence drops and the system stops before enough reps.

Security & Privacy

Data that stays local:

• Social goals, context, notes, and follow-up plans in ~/make-friends/.

Data that leaves your machine:

• None by default.

This skill does NOT:

• Access private social accounts or messages without the user explicitly providing them.
• Make undeclared network requests.
• Encourage deception, coercion, or unwanted persistence.

Related Skills

Install with clawhub install if user confirms:

• friends — maintain existing friendships, check-ins, and relationship health
• people — keep human-readable notes on contacts and life context
• coach — work through fear, avoidance, and accountability around social effort
• companion — improve conversation warmth, pacing, and ongoing social presence

Feedback

• If useful: clawhub star make-friends
• Stay updated: clawhub sync